Crappy toys… literally

Whyyyyyyyy do my kids love toys that poop/burp/fart/etc. Bodily functions are funny to an extent, but I already have human hineys to wipe, I don’t need to wipe a doll’s… 😡

We have a Baby alive doll that you feed and she then poos in her diaper. Great job supplier– now I have to keep buying those damn diapers and the special food for her (she has dietary restrictions). Listen, I don’t even want to know what that dolls esophagus looks like… there’s no way that all the food she ingests actually makes it into that diaper. I was not provided with a brush to clean her throat out… 🤢🤢 


We also have a Fur Real Friends puppy that’s attached to a leash. You feed her treats, take her for a walk and she audibly farts and then leaves a treat shaped turd on the floor… this is real life y’all. After the pup leaves the little gift for you on the floor what do you do with it? You feed it to her again…. DUH! I mean, what toddler doesn’t need to know that it’s a-ok to eat your own sh*t?? Seriously… 

Another bodily function toy we have is what I affectionately call the pooper scooper Barbie (thanks uncle Jack). Barbie has a dog pal that you feed treats. After the dog poops, you can use the handy dandy pooper scooper,that’s been provided, to clean up said mess. This toy is the most realistic. You don’t feed the dog her own feces… she has actual treats and her poop is shaped like a legit poo. 

Of course we have multiple woopie cushions, flarp, and fart guns. My children do not want for anything. Especially when it comes to toys that actually have or mimic a bowel movement. Y’all I’ll be honest, farts are funny to me…. they always will be, because I’m not a real adult. I’m a semi adult. 

Maybe these toys have a purpose. Maybe they were created to teach children something very important…. or maybe they were created to drive prarents crazy… I’m thinking the latter. 

I have to go now… our fur real friends puppy has made a couple of laps around the house as I’ve been typing this. I have to go see if all her #2s have been picked up… this is a glamorous life y’all. 

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