I’m SUUUUUUPER competitive. I’m pretty sure it’s in my genes. Everyone in my family is competitive. We like to win and we like to win often. I can recall a time when every one of my immediate family members has left the table after a heated game of cards (usually pitch or spades). We yell during sporting events. There are heated discussions over coaching staffs (let’s be clear, I only have heated discussions over who’s QB or pitcher is the hottest– or which player has the better booty, but that’s not important…). But nonetheless, we don’t like to be wrong and we sure as heck don’t like to lose!
I don’t like to play games unless I know I can win. Ask my husband why I quit playing ping pong with him (he spins and spikes the ball and is a BIG FAT CHEATER!! I don’t lose well…) That’s why this weight loss challenge is so tough for me. I have lost 14lbs in 4 weeks! That’s ridiculous! I am killing it on the weight loss! Unfortunately even with that amount of weight loss, I’m not in the top grouping of contestants. That’s not necessarily because there are people that have lost more lbs, it’s because their % of weight loss is higher than mine… which means they started at a lower weight than I did. That’s bullshit! It’s so frustrating knowing that I’m working so hard yet still losing at the challenge.
I know that the way I’m approaching this challenge (the lifestyle change) is the right approach. I know my body is changing and looking hella sexy (you’re welcome, B!), but I want to WIN damnit! I want that money and I want to be the best!
Deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Sorry about that little rant. I just get super frustrated. I need to take a step back and think of the bigger picture. I’m doing this for me. I’m getting that DGB. I’m working to become the best version of myself not only for me, but for my family as well.
Y’all this is HARD. I expected this to be physically hard, but it is emotionally hard! I am drained. I don’t feel like I have an ounce of positivity left in my body.
But guess what???
Y’all I’m still hilarious (you’re welcome). I’m still encouraging to others. I’m still not a fan of folding laundry. I’m still me, and that means I’m still positive. I bring the sunshine to others. That’s who I am. Now I just need to work on taking that positivity inward on myself.
So now I’m going to take my sunshiney hiney and go to bed. Maybe I’ll wake up with a better outlook and attitude tomorrow. But I just wanted to share with you all that sometimes this sucks. It’s not always unicorns and rainbows.
Today I did my best and that’s all I can do. Now I just need to work on being better tomorrow than I was today.