Workplace food etiquette

I know everyone has pet peeves. 

  • People who drag their feet when they walk. 
  • Mumbling. 
  • Gum popping. 
  • Incessant throat clearing. 
  • Turning without signaling. 
  • Etc. 

Mine is food etiquette. I have listed a few rules below that I wish EVERYONE followed. 

Rule #1: When your food smells like farts, eat it somewhere other than your desk. 🤢

This includes, but is not limited to, boiled eggs, tuna, canned chicken, and grilled onions.

Listen, I’m trying to eat healthy too, but I at least have the common decency to enjoy (scratch that, healthy food is not enjoyable) eat my stinky food in a secluded area. 

Rule #2: If your food makes a sound when you chew it, make certain that your mouth is closed while you are eating. 

I don’t need to know how many bites there are in each baby carrot your choose to consume. I also don’t need to hear you suck the ranch off of your fingers (vom). 

Rule #3: NEVER. Chomp. Ice. 


No explanation necessary. 

Don’t eat like a caveman and we will get along just fine!    

Rule #4: This one is a doozie! Don’t food shame. EVER. 

No one needs you to tell them how many calories are in their meal. 

Don’t click your tongue at someone who opts for the dessert. Unless that person asked you to hold them accountable for their food choices, do NOT take it upon yourself to make sure they feel shitty. 

Food is hard y’all. 

Just be nice and think about your surroundings. 

😇 if you follow these rules, I’ll eat lunch with you! You’re welcome! 

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